building the margins: pop quiz

Saturday, April 02, 2005

pop quiz

True or False:

The only sure way to avoid STDs is to wait until marriage to have sex, choose a partner who has also waited or who is uninfected and share a faithful life together.

The above statement is from a government website for parents of teenagers.

Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure you don't have to wait until marriage to in order to avoid STDs - you just need to avoid risky sexual behavior and sexual activity with people who have STDs.

Why does the website include this little bit of fakery? It seems to be another example of religious dogma creeping into the government. Of course teenagers should avoid having sex since they are not usually mature enough to handle the emotions or the potential consequences. But saying that sex is only safe in marriage is just plain false and is downright antiquated.

A bit about me: I'm a former Catholic who left the church largely because I couldn't stand its limited views about sexuality, and the way it tries to make sex something dirty and nasty, rather than just a basic human biological need. I just can't believe that there are specific rules that people have to follow regarding sex in order to gain entrance to heaven. It just doesn't make sense. Somehow sex outside of marriage is a mortal sin, but once you get that piece of paper, hey, go crazy. As long as you aren't using birth control, because that would be a sin.

I guess you could say I left the Church because I don't believe in a God who is a micro manager.

The site also suggests bringing your gay child to a therapist who "shares your values"...

If you believe your adolescent may be gay, or is experiencing difficulties with gender identity or sexual orientation issues, consider seeing a family therapist who shares your values to clarify and work through these issues.

What exactly does that mean? If you are homophobic and narrowminded, you should find a shrink who hates homosexuality? Oh yeah, that's going to help your child.

I'm waiting for the day when more energy is spent on preventing violence in our society than on worrying about sex. When will 4Parents.gov have information about how parents can help their kids avoid gangs? Or how parents can tell if their kid is planning to walk into their school and gun down their classmates?

Or maybe reducing violence among teens is a lost cause given the example that our Christian president has set by sending our soldiers to other countries and killing civilians. (Hey, what's a little collateral damage if yur spreadin' democrassy?)

Or what if the government included info on the site about teaching teens how to eat better and avoid the corn syrup and chemical-laden crap sold in supermarkets as food? Talk about health risks - we're feeding our kids junk disguised as food that will only make them fat and diseased in the long term.

Nope, better to just address sex, drugs, and money so that our kids can grow up to be good little Christian capitalist doggies working 60 hours a week for peanuts and pumping out kids every 9 months (since birth control will probably be outlawed at some point in the next 20 years, given our "culture of life").

end of rant.
¶ 5:33 PM

Comments:

Remember the good ole' days when all we had ta worry about were toilet seats and doorknobs?
Oh. And getting drafted. They just upped the eligbility age to 39. I'm 38. Joy. i'm cynical enough to be 100 .

# posted by

Allan : 6:09 PM

Regarding the quote about finding a counselor or therapist who shares your values, why is that such a horrible thing to you? Why would a parent choose a therapist who has values that are opposed to theirs? Do you actually think that if YOU were the parent in this kind of situation you would choose a therapist who has values that don't agree with yours... someone who thinks homosexual behavior is wrong or harmful? Of course you wouldn't! Then why not let other people choose how they want to raise their children?

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:25 PM

I didn't say that finding a counselor who "shares your values" is inherently a "horrible thing". I questioned what the site meant by that and whether it would always be helpful to the child.

If a parent who is against homosexuality finds a therapist who is against homosexuality, is that really going to help their child? Or just set the child up for years of repression and guilt?

But of course it's the parents' right to choose how they want to raise a child or who they want as a counselor. There are millions of parents out there teaching their kids that homosexuality is a sin and that's their perogative, just as it's my perogative not to send my children to a counselor who would teach them that homosexuality is wrong.

I just happen to think that intolerance is a greater evil and that if parents' "values" lead them to encourage their children to suppress integral parts of their sexuality, they are probably not doing their children any favors.

# posted by

farmer chica : 9:13 AM

CB:
I hadn't heard that the draft age was raised... when did that happen?

(and yikes!)

# posted by

farmer chica : 9:21 AM

Actually, it's the Reserve enlistment age they raised.(I just like ranting about the draft).Dick Cheney promised us that there is no draft planned, and he wouldn't lie, would he?
My ex-girlfriend (40) is a Capt. in the Va. National Guard. A mutual friend told me that she recently got "the call-up." I hope that doesn't mean Iraq, but I don't know.

And yes, intolerance is an evil thing. People do what they do and it really shouldn't be anyone else's concern as long as everyone's happy and no one gets hurt. Can a parent love their child less because they happen to be gay? I hope not.

# posted by

Allan : 3:58 PM